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Valley of the Dark Lords

I'm gonna have to ask you to leave DLS.

Every clan has experienced its fair share of noobs. DLS is no exception. On this page, we will take a moment to remember and ridicule these worthless pieces of garbage. They are listed in chronological order.
 
DLS_DREWTARGET - He was the original noob. In fact, he was so nooby, that the term "dr00b" was coined in order to accurately describe his abomination onto mankind. He took it upon himself to torture the English language by slaughtering the spelling of every word he came into contact with. He also asked half of Zone how to "cpy an pastze."
 
DLS_sithknight6 - Living a rich fantasy life, one day, sithknight6 decided it would be okay to challenge other clans and inform them how much better DLS was. We appreciated his view of the clan, but not the angry clans knocking on our door. When he was asked to leave, he did as all noobs do. He blamed DLS. He later returned with his own clan, RSF - Royal Senate Forces. He asked for an alliance, and when DLS rejected the offer, he took it upon himself to destory us. He learned that hard way that a one man clan isn't really a clan at all. Just a lonely chump.
 
DLS_PloKoon - Plokoon began his DLS career with much promise. However, he became a prime example of how fine the line between noob and unstable freakshow really are. Plokoon was obsessed with "blowing stuff up and kicking tail." Other Zoners were getting annoyed with his odd behavior, and when he was asked to calm down, he came to the obvious conclusion at hand. DLS is for trekkies. As many of us began cracking up, Plokoon left citing that he'd blow us all up wit his Air Cruisers. He was never heard from again.
 
DLS_Emporer_pal - Pal was such an insignificant speck on the face of mankind that we can't really remember what he did. All we are certain of is that he cried for three days before finally leaving the clan. Like most noobs, he wasn't quite right in the mind.
 
DLS_SA_KingkayI - Not everyone can handle the cold, hard truth of thier noobness. Since his first day as a Sith, all KingkayI accomplished was annoying the entire clan. He was asked to leave the clan because of his noobish behavior, but of course he had to go and prove how awesome he thought he was. Nothing original with this guy. He just created his own clan, declared war on us with his whopping three or four members, got owned, and then was never heard from again. He didn't even make it through our academy...
 
DLS_night - Everytime this kid did something stupid, he would "kick himself out of the clan" and go into hiding. He'd come back later saying he was sorry and was ready to join the clan again. He tried creating his own clans a few times during his many exiles. As soon as we asked him if he had created his own clan, he vowed its services to us. Eventually, he tried to weasel his way out of the deal, but when we resisted, he went into another exile. And that's about the last we heard of him.
 
DLS_Terminator - Determination. This kid took on two or three different names, such as DLS_Hunter2, to try to get into DLS. The funny thing is, he was kicked out each time for being a noob before we recognized who he really was.
 
DLS_kenjin_5 - The oxygen level must be low in this kid's room because after violently demanding command of all DLS forces, he promised that he could wage a massive war on the Zone and win without resistance. He later came around, admitted to crying over the incident, and retired from the game. We still consider him to be a step back in the evolution of mankind.
 
DLS_Nintendo2 - Mom and Pop must not be giving young junior here enough attention. During a normal recruiting session, Nintendo blamed his bad spelling and random phrases on the fact that he was currently making hot love to his girlfriend while typing on his computer. When asked if he was afraid his girlfriend was going to pop, he became confused and then angry. He was becoming such a nuisance that we had to ask him to leave the clan. 
 
DLS_ELVIS21 - Elvis was a textbook noob and that was about it. He's done everything from insult the clan, start his own clan, wage war on our clan, try to get into DLS under fake names like DLS_boba5, etc. We kept foiling his plans, which wasn't really that hard, and he eventually died or something like that.
 
DLS_Spartan2 - Spartan had a bad case of "I'm so awesome" syndrome. It was like the kid thought he was God or something. After being kicked out, he vowed revenge, but his plans never really came together. We just assumed he was too awesome for his own sinister plan to work.
 
DLS_marine2 - After an unprecedented drought of noobs, along comes this punk to end the peace. He had issues with following things like rules and common sense. Overwhelmed by simple sentences like "No, you can't start and lead your division. You just joined two hours ago," he went on a rampage to take over the clan. Our members silenced him quickly, and he was never heard from again. He must have spotted something shiny on the ground...
 
DLS_phoenix - Also known as DLS_galactic/DSE_galactic, he was the uncontested prince of n00bkind. As you can probably already see, this is by far the longest entry in the Hall of Shame. Let us assure you, it is well deserved and far too short to describe the true horrors of this noob. There is alot of backstory to this tragic tale. We had known of this kid for a while, but our paths never really crossed until our stint with a massive mutli-gaming effort. We left that clan because of all the noobs that insisted on dragging the clan down. Galactic led the noob charge. After that, he ended up crawling to our gates. He filled out an application and assumed the purpose of the application was to let us know he was coming. We called him on the error, but out of kindness, and a small hint of pity, we granted him an interview. But of course, as any noob would, he totally blew it. Afterwards, he was so upset that he admitted to crying over his patheticness. He begged for one last chance. He was offered a deal that allowed him to enter the clan a week later. He kept arguing that he deserved it sooner, and as a result, the time period he would have to wait grew larger and larger. Having a brain smaller than the average human being, he didn't figure out this relationship between babbling like a fool and not getting into DLS. Noobs are like cockroaches; they just never seem to die. He was moping around our clan for several months before we felt so bad for him that we created a sub-clan called DSE, Dark Side Elite. It was a clan designed specifically to train noobs and cure them of thier horrible disease that plagues the gaming world: being an idiot. Apparently, galactic also thought he was too godo for this clan and ended up getting kick out of a noob clan. Yes, this kid was so nooby that he got kicked out of a clan designed for noobs. Sad isn't it? To this date, galactic remains by far the n00biest excuse for a human being the clan has ever encountered. He's also the only person in the entire Hall of Shame to have never actually been in DLS. This may actually be a step back for all of mankind. Well, several steps...
 
DLS_DREWTARGET - Noobs resemble fungus in the fact that they just keep re-surfacing after you think you've killed them off. This is the second chapter in the dr00b saga. Up until this point, he'd been out of the clan for over a year. His spelling got a little better, but it was obvious that he had been doing some heavy drugs during his time off. For starters, he claimed that he was a marine, fighting in Iraq. He also said that he was in the tank that toppled the Saddam Hussein statue in Baghdad. DSE_Dhx22 (his new alias), like every member involved in the DSE Noob Training program, we had to ask him to leave. It was just too sad to watch. That's the last time we try to help noobs again. Unfortunately, it is a cancer with no cure.

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